Flip, Flip, Flip ... Game Over.

Good morning!

This just in: The Pistons are really good.

Last night, despite a valiant first-half effort by K.G. and Co., the Detroit Pistons eviscerated the Minnesota Timberwolves 107-83. It wasn't even that close.

Ties between the two teams are well-known: Flip Saunders, the current Pistons coach, was fired by T-Wolves GM Kevin McHale last season because he couldn't draw more out of Minne-haha's band of perennial underacheivers. These same T-Wolves let Pistons point guard and NBA MVP candidate Chauncey Billups leave as a free agent a few years ago. And the Pistons were compelled to trade G Ronald Dupree to the 'Wolves for a second-round draft pick because there was simply no room on the Pistons roster to keep him. Knowing Joe Dumars, that second-round pick is fated to become the greatest 47th pick in draft history or something.

It's a shame that one organization seems to be so snakebit. A shame for Kevin Garnett, anyway. Hmm, maybe the Pistons COULD pull off a trade for him! Let's see: How about Terry Mills, Lindsey Hunter and a first-rounder ...

81

81 ... I mean, good morning!

I told someone that everyone should be greeted with "Kobe Bryant had 81 points last night," instead of "Good morning," or "Hello," earlier today. Now, I think "81," will suffice.

Yeah, blah-blah Steelers, blah-blah Seahawks (yet another team to beat the Lions to the Super Bowl); we'll have two weeks to talk about the matchup in XL. But, 81 points?? Let me put this in a bit of perspective. I've created a simple equation to put Kobe's 81-pointer in context:

81 pts. in an NBA game = 8 TDs in an NFL game = 8 goals in an NHL game = 7 HRs and 18 RBIs in a Major League baseball game (roughly)

I mean, come on. 81 points. That's just stupid.

Big Bucks

Good morning!

Big Bucks: def. - 1.) noun, term inspired by the Big Buck himself, Wayne "What'dya mean I'm fired?! What's the deal?" Fontes, for the elite fraternity of Detroit Lions head coaches, now joined by one Rod Marinelli, former defensive line coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Coach Marinelli looks to be inexperienced and just as spin doctory in his first press conference as George Bush Jr. or Steve Mariucci, but I think his lack of experience may actually prove to be a boon, as his attitude will be what he hangs his hat on, as opposed to some sort of "philosophy" or entrenched offense. Should be interesting.

2.) What I can make if you come to my newest venture, www.amazon.com/shops/american_internet_distributors , and buy some DVDs, or video tapes, or CDs, or books, etc. Thankee-sai, gunslinger!

How 'Bout Them Good Ol' Boys?

Good morning!

I'm going to keep it brief today, people. In light of King Day, I'd just like to note that there are no Black coaches remaining in the NFL playoffs. Conspiracy? No, their teams simply got beaten. That's okay. But, it'd be nice to see a Black coach win a Super Bowl one day. That would be a real triumph for equality in an industry that has traditionally been inordinately reluctant to promote minorities to that level.

The good ol' boy network in the NFL is well renowned. It's going to take some very progressive ownership to keep the current trend of good minority hires moving forward. The success of Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy, among others, is heartening. Hopefully, other guys out there will get a chance, and not get turned away in favor of some retread coach who couldn't succeed his first eleven times around. We'll see.

The Best Laid Plans

Good morning!

Color me disappointed. Denver beat the Patriots last night. Denying me the opportunity to see Payton Manning (toward whom I have no ill will) reduced to a crying, sniveling, shaking, quivering, queasy, chilled, depressed, distraught, snotty-leaking, hot-cursing, nauseous, cold-and-fevery, high-falootin', no-account, incontinent, inconsolable basket case by being beaten by New England in the playoffs three years in a row.

Bummer.

Unsportsmanlike: Less Than The Sum of Body Parts

Good Morning!

Going off the scoreboard this morning for a little chat about one of my other passions: movies. I recently saw Eli Roth's Hostel. Somewhat interesting, I guess, but more useful to me as an object lesson than an entertainment experience. I was more fascinated by what it shows me than the show.

The comparison's between Hostel, a gruesome (ostensibly) flick about death and dismemberment, and the Saw films, gruesome (occasionally) flicks about death and dismemberment. So, what makes them different? Oddly enough, very little - but the little things make all the difference.

Without breaking it down plot point by plot point, Hostel follows a couple of Americans and a fellow from Iceland as they backpack through Europe. They pursue common debaucheries: mainly drugs, loose women and general boorish behavior. Ultimately, these pursuits lead them to abduction and (pretty pedestrian) tortures. One of our heroes (such that he is) pays a painful personal price to survive. Similarly, Saw and Saw II both follow people who are abducted, each challenged to face his or her own sinful behavior and face painful personal prices to survive. And both flicks have more amputations than the average Merchant Ivory production.

And like many horror stories (including those made long before the advent of movies and rubber, bloody severed hands), they are each morality plays. In Hostel, we learn that if all you pay attention to is gettin' high and gettin' honeys when abroad, the unwary traveler may part with more than his wallet. Saw preaches something similar: basically, that not making the most of the life you are given makes you unworthy to live it. The difference, and it was key in my impression of both films, is that the philosophy of Saw is held by it's antagonist, making it a real driving force in both the story and the "what would you do?" element that makes watching many thrillers engaging. In Hostel, the film's philosophy isn't apparently held by anyone, even the people behind the institution of terror that hosts the dastardly deeds we see, who's base motivations were ultimately anticlimactic to say the least.

Instead of the tension created when we're in that grungy bathroom with the characters in Saw or the house in Saw II, where the audience is racing the people on screen to figure out what to do next, I found myself just waiting at Hostel. What's gonna happen now? Where did that guy go? How's he gonna get out of that? Oh, it's pretty convenient that that happened. I wonder if he's gonna go bac- oh yeah, he is. 'Cause the girl drowned in the pool or something. I felt like I was being dragged along by the story instead of being propelled by it. In fact, this movie made me appreciate the Saw films even more.

Essentially, it looks like Eli Roth is more into creating the incredibly dark comedy (yes, this is more buddy-comedy-gone-bad than horror film) than real scary movies. And he did a much better job of it with the gross-and-engrossing Cabin Fever. Go buy that on DVD with the cash you were gonna spend on seeing Hostel. You'll thank me for it (if you aren't laughing through vomit ... ah, see it anyway).

... And knowing's half the battle!

Good Morning!

Now, we know ... though many were already without doubt (or claimed to be). The Pistons dropped a 83-68 drubbing on the San Antonio Spurs last night, eliminating any doubt about who is the best team in the league right now.

But, that got me thinking - how much weight should we really be putting in the right now?

My question revolves around the lauded Flip Factor. The main difference we're seeing now in this Pistons team is their newly uncovered ability to run Flip's high-octane offense. Last night, Doug Collins commented about how strange it was to see Detroit running all of Minnesota's old plays. The similarities don't end there, however. Look at the Piston's hot start. Winning regular season games has always been Flip's forte. Early playoff flameouts have been, too. So, how do we know we're getting one and not the other?

All we really have to go on is the character of this team ... which, admittedly, is quite a bit to go on - this is undoubtedly a quality squad. But, we already knew that. But, knowing's only half the battle. Maybe a little doubt is good.

Long see, no time.

Good morning!

Almost a month? Has it really been that long? Well, I return rattled and perhaps a bit the worse for wear, but as for that, the passing there had worn me really about the same. And so on.

Well, when last we met, Faithful Reader, the Pistons were still the cream of the crop ... and the more things change, the more they remain the same. Tonight is their second matchup against the hearty San Antonio Spurs, surely looking to salve their bruised collective pride after the lesson Detroit handed them on Christmas day: "Merry yuletide, Timmy. Here's a lump of coal! DEE-TROIT BAS-KET-BAAAAALL!!!! Yessir!" Ahh, good times.

And while they are again graced with the presence of Manu the magnificent (but Parker's still dating Eva Longoria), our very own Horsehead Heroes may be without the services of Carlos Arroyo, who went ballistic after a questionable call in Tuesday night's game. He was so mad, he made Rasheed blush. After delivering a nice, little chest bump on the ref when he walked by, his presence for tonight's affair was no longer expected.

So, now we get a real test, don't we? I'll be the first to admit, the teams Los Pistones have faced to date have not been that fierce. With the exception of one victory over Miami, an absolute drubbing at the hands of the Dallas Mavericks, and the previous win over the Spurs, the real tests have been few and far between. I mean, Utah is interesting, but I doubt the Pistons see them in the playoffs. ;~)

So, here's to a worthwhile adversary! ... looking to get their teeth kicked in.

See you tomorrow!