Good morning!
Well, it looks like the Lions gave their fans just what we were looking for: a butt-kicked basis for the people to rise up and let their voices be heard as they chanted the poignant refrain, "Fire Millen!" until faces turned blue and shirts turned orange. The main disappointment for most was that Chad Johnson's Non-Celebration Celebration was not what anyone was expecting. (I liked it, personally.)
So, what now? The housetops have been shouted from; what next? Millen's not going anywhere. Any Lions fan old enough to drop fifteen bucks on a beer should remember that this is the same organization that withstood the "Fire Fontes" movement for at least the same number of years as young Matthew Millen has even had this job. And that was when we had Barry Sanders and were making the playoffs every other year. Fontes won a playoff game! THOSE WERE THE GOOD OL' DAYS.
The answer to "What now?" is simple: nothing. Nothing will change, at least not personnel-wise. All that fans like me, those who remember what it was like to be in the position to have your heart broken by Sterling Sharpe touchdowns or Scott Mitchell interceptions, have to hope for is a change in attitude. Not merely, "Okay, let's rededicate ourselves to winning! Restore the roar!" or any other cornbread-laden nonsense, but a change along the lines of bringing in players who can block and coaches who can teach guys to tackle. Drafting character and ability, not drugs and "potential", even if both are homegrown. Maybe then we can throw a parade every once in a while, and not just marches.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Pole Position
Good morning!
Well, the ol' Motown Steamroller was fine tuned and playing pitch-perfect last night. Los Pistones took care of the Charlotte Bobcats by about 25 last night, a day after they took care of the Chicago Bulls by nearly 30. Most importantly, they took care of Ben Wallace.
You may have heard Big Ben chiming in about how he didn't understand his role in the offense a few days ago. Ben's offense? The same Ben Wallace who is a career 6.6 points-per-game scorer? What gives?
Here's what: Ben is the leader. As much as Chauncey manages this phenomenal team on the court, Ben does so in the locker room and in the media. Maybe it's that he understands that the team has been winning games, but has not been playing up to the level they need to be. Maybe it's that he sees that every single team in the Central division is above .500, and that all of them are likely to make the playoffs. Maybe he knows that, despite Detroit's quick start, this race has a lot more laps to go before anyone crosses the finish line, and if they forget about playing Pistons basketball, they'll crash and burn ... just like everyone is waiting on them to do. They have pole position now, but if the Pistons don't power this run The Right Way (even without LB.-For-LB. on the sidelines), they can't win it all. And for a team of this caliber, nothing else will do.
Plus, it gives everyone something else to talk about besides the Angry Fan March. Go Lions!
Friday, December 16, 2005
Off the board
Good morning! (on the West Coast, anyway; someone tells me there's a difference ...)
I'd love to get into Ben Wallace's crazy goggles and his comments that he doesn't understand his role in the offense, but I'll save that until I see Los Pistones play tonight. I think I'll go off the board a bit for this one:
I and many others are lactose intolerant. It sucks not to be able to have milk, milkshakes, ice cream, chocolate, brownies, cheeseburgers, etc. without having to take little pills. So, a buddy of mine (LDBJ aka The Lord Diggus) and I were in McDonald's yesterday, and I said they (oh, the crazy things the infamous "they" will do) should start selling human milk.
Uh-oh. Stop. Ok, no, I mean, KEEP READING. It all makes perfect sense! Seriously, cow milk is for COWS, right? Well, human milk is for humans and that's the end of it. Simply, take human breast milk, pastuerize it and so forth, and you have a good, nutritious dietary supplement that's good for everyone.
Now, LDBJ (who works for me) said that if I told him to help me draw up plans for this as an upcoming project he'd quit immediately, and call the cops and child services. So, consider this as a STRICTLY HYPOTHETICAL (but entirely plausible) model:
First off, our breast milk providers are prescreened for disease and "genetic unpleasantness" immediately, thus taking the public health factor into account. Those who pass the screening process are employed at a breast milk farm (probably for close to minimum wage - thus eliminating the unseemly "human slavery" aspect), where they enjoy a leisurely work day of eating highly nutritious meals and watching television. Further, the milk can be treated and flavored to make it nutritious and wholesome for all.
Much like traditional dairy farms, the breast milk farming industry would be subsidized by the government, but costs could be offset by conducting paid tours of the farms. And of course, there would be specialty celebrity milk makers. People would, I'm sure, pay a hefty sum to be nourished by the milk of such luminaries as Halle Berry and Katie "We Crazy" Holmes. It is an idea whose time has come, people! Who will step up to the plate and get it started? ... My girlfriend won't let me.
And, one more thing: I hearby dub that zany couple, Tom and Katie, The White Bobby and Whitney! "Heck-to-the-yes!"
I'd love to get into Ben Wallace's crazy goggles and his comments that he doesn't understand his role in the offense, but I'll save that until I see Los Pistones play tonight. I think I'll go off the board a bit for this one:
I and many others are lactose intolerant. It sucks not to be able to have milk, milkshakes, ice cream, chocolate, brownies, cheeseburgers, etc. without having to take little pills. So, a buddy of mine (LDBJ aka The Lord Diggus) and I were in McDonald's yesterday, and I said they (oh, the crazy things the infamous "they" will do) should start selling human milk.
Uh-oh. Stop. Ok, no, I mean, KEEP READING. It all makes perfect sense! Seriously, cow milk is for COWS, right? Well, human milk is for humans and that's the end of it. Simply, take human breast milk, pastuerize it and so forth, and you have a good, nutritious dietary supplement that's good for everyone.
Now, LDBJ (who works for me) said that if I told him to help me draw up plans for this as an upcoming project he'd quit immediately, and call the cops and child services. So, consider this as a STRICTLY HYPOTHETICAL (but entirely plausible) model:
First off, our breast milk providers are prescreened for disease and "genetic unpleasantness" immediately, thus taking the public health factor into account. Those who pass the screening process are employed at a breast milk farm (probably for close to minimum wage - thus eliminating the unseemly "human slavery" aspect), where they enjoy a leisurely work day of eating highly nutritious meals and watching television. Further, the milk can be treated and flavored to make it nutritious and wholesome for all.
Much like traditional dairy farms, the breast milk farming industry would be subsidized by the government, but costs could be offset by conducting paid tours of the farms. And of course, there would be specialty celebrity milk makers. People would, I'm sure, pay a hefty sum to be nourished by the milk of such luminaries as Halle Berry and Katie "We Crazy" Holmes. It is an idea whose time has come, people! Who will step up to the plate and get it started? ... My girlfriend won't let me.
And, one more thing: I hearby dub that zany couple, Tom and Katie, The White Bobby and Whitney! "Heck-to-the-yes!"
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Losing Pace
Good Morning!
Let's get right to it: Ron Artest is a freak. Not a curiousity-inspiring, South Park-spoofed carny freak, like Girl With No Torso or Man With No Face (or Boy With Ba-- nevermind), but a far more disturbing creature. Let's call him Baller With No Perspective.
It isn't his not wanting to be in Indiana that shows the lack of perspective. That's pretty crummy if it's a "I'm not getting the ball enough" thing or something like that. That would just be Stephon Starburyesque foolishness. That happens, unfortunately. But, if it's more like "we can't catch a break from the refs with me on the floor. I gotta move on for y'all and for us," then it's a horse of different color. Heck, that's almost noble.
Regardless of the motive, however, the execution is the problem. How on Earth are they supposed to get value for you if you tell the media you want to jump ship, Ron? You at least owe the team that stood by you during the ridiculous travails you sparked off last year at least THAT much. And, who's going to want you when you add "malcontent" to the litany of other reasons not to want to touch your crazy, angry, clueless, self-promoting, technical-fouling self?? Think, man!
One thing's for sure ... it won't be the Pistons. ;~)
Let's get right to it: Ron Artest is a freak. Not a curiousity-inspiring, South Park-spoofed carny freak, like Girl With No Torso or Man With No Face (or Boy With Ba-- nevermind), but a far more disturbing creature. Let's call him Baller With No Perspective.
It isn't his not wanting to be in Indiana that shows the lack of perspective. That's pretty crummy if it's a "I'm not getting the ball enough" thing or something like that. That would just be Stephon Starburyesque foolishness. That happens, unfortunately. But, if it's more like "we can't catch a break from the refs with me on the floor. I gotta move on for y'all and for us," then it's a horse of different color. Heck, that's almost noble.
Regardless of the motive, however, the execution is the problem. How on Earth are they supposed to get value for you if you tell the media you want to jump ship, Ron? You at least owe the team that stood by you during the ridiculous travails you sparked off last year at least THAT much. And, who's going to want you when you add "malcontent" to the litany of other reasons not to want to touch your crazy, angry, clueless, self-promoting, technical-fouling self?? Think, man!
One thing's for sure ... it won't be the Pistons. ;~)
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Everything must go.
Good morning again.
These last two weeks have been a terrible dream. Unfortunately, none of us wake up in this life. Losing a parent, especially at a younger than usual age, is a devastating thing. My sister (the one and only HCB -- may she live long and prosper!) is only 14, so it may be twice as devastating for her as for me. I cannot really tell. All I do know is that returning things to a pastiche of normalcy is a unmitigated struggle. But we struggle on. What else is there to do?
To that point, I started a new arm of the many-tentacled Mythic Group yesterday. American Internet Distributors, an idea born from the need to get rid of some of my old things (just DVDs right now) and the recognition that others may need the same thing. That is, a way to find distribution for products by using the Internet's wide array of available marketplaces, without the hassle of developing such distribution on their own. I started yesterday afternoon, and I've already received my first 9 orders. I just sat down and said, "We're starting now." Why wait? What does waiting do but forestall the inevitable? What exactly would I be waiting for? For the grieving to stop? To exit the stage of mourning? Neither of those things happen, exactly. Life doesn't "go back to the way it was"; it changes. And so, we change. We each find a New Normal. We each laugh and cry and think and feel in a different world. We do it every day. But now, I am more keenly aware of that. It's knowledge that is useful, but a lesson I wish I'd never learned.
In any case, I could continue that line of writing, but I won't. Not now. I know some other things that are important:
I love HCB. I love TNT. We are family. As are my friends and those relatives who came to our aid through this tragedy and who wished us well.
My life has changed ... and it does all the time. From now on, I must grab hold of the reins of change and master it as much as man can. In the words of my favorite poem: "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." So, let it be.
There's a new shaman in town, folks. Grab your gear -- It's time to go to work.
God willing, I'll see you here tomorrow. Hope you'll join me.
Ron
PS - Don't worry; we WILL be getting back to sports. In a world with Ron Artest and the Detroit Lions, we just have to.
These last two weeks have been a terrible dream. Unfortunately, none of us wake up in this life. Losing a parent, especially at a younger than usual age, is a devastating thing. My sister (the one and only HCB -- may she live long and prosper!) is only 14, so it may be twice as devastating for her as for me. I cannot really tell. All I do know is that returning things to a pastiche of normalcy is a unmitigated struggle. But we struggle on. What else is there to do?
To that point, I started a new arm of the many-tentacled Mythic Group yesterday. American Internet Distributors, an idea born from the need to get rid of some of my old things (just DVDs right now) and the recognition that others may need the same thing. That is, a way to find distribution for products by using the Internet's wide array of available marketplaces, without the hassle of developing such distribution on their own. I started yesterday afternoon, and I've already received my first 9 orders. I just sat down and said, "We're starting now." Why wait? What does waiting do but forestall the inevitable? What exactly would I be waiting for? For the grieving to stop? To exit the stage of mourning? Neither of those things happen, exactly. Life doesn't "go back to the way it was"; it changes. And so, we change. We each find a New Normal. We each laugh and cry and think and feel in a different world. We do it every day. But now, I am more keenly aware of that. It's knowledge that is useful, but a lesson I wish I'd never learned.
In any case, I could continue that line of writing, but I won't. Not now. I know some other things that are important:
I love HCB. I love TNT. We are family. As are my friends and those relatives who came to our aid through this tragedy and who wished us well.
My life has changed ... and it does all the time. From now on, I must grab hold of the reins of change and master it as much as man can. In the words of my favorite poem: "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." So, let it be.
There's a new shaman in town, folks. Grab your gear -- It's time to go to work.
God willing, I'll see you here tomorrow. Hope you'll join me.
Ron
PS - Don't worry; we WILL be getting back to sports. In a world with Ron Artest and the Detroit Lions, we just have to.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Somber
Good morning!
Ok, I gotta tell another joke. Slow sports day and all:
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
Ok, I gotta tell another joke. Slow sports day and all:
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Life is short; play hard.
Good morning!
Thought I'd pass along an old joke to give everyone a smile this morning:
Two best friends were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives revolved around baseball. They discussed baseball history in the winter, and they examined every box score during the season. They went to over 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, one of the friend passed away in his sleep after watching a Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died a happy man.
A few nights later, his buddy awoke to the sound of the voice from beyond.
"is that you?" he asked. "Of course it me," his friend's voice replied.
"This is unbelievable!" he exclaimed, "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that there is baseball in heaven,"
"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're pitching tomorrow night."
Thought I'd pass along an old joke to give everyone a smile this morning:
Two best friends were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives revolved around baseball. They discussed baseball history in the winter, and they examined every box score during the season. They went to over 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, one of the friend passed away in his sleep after watching a Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died a happy man.
A few nights later, his buddy awoke to the sound of the voice from beyond.
"is that you?" he asked. "Of course it me," his friend's voice replied.
"This is unbelievable!" he exclaimed, "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that there is baseball in heaven,"
"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're pitching tomorrow night."
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
"Where do we go ... from here?!"
From Merriam Webster Online:
Main Entry: mooch
Pronunciation: 'müch
Function: verb
Etymology: probably from French dialect muchier to hide, lurk
Intransitive senses
1 : to wander aimlessly : AMBLE; also : SNEAK - as in "With Mooch as the coach, the Lions wandered aimlessly, ambling about, only sneaking in a victory every now and then."
2 : SPONGE, CADGE - as in, "It seems like Mooch was just sponging off of the the Fords, taking their money and not giving us much in return. What a cadger!" (Which means huckster, for you rubes.)
Transitive senses
1 : to take surreptitiously : STEAL - as in, "Yep, for the production we got, Mooch was just stealing that cash!"
2 : BEG, CADGE - as in, "Fo' sho; Mooch was beggin' us to believe his system would work for years and what do we get? ... He cadged the mess out of us!"
But, we can't put it all on Mariucci the Moocher. He isn't a bad coach, and I'm sure he and the Michigan State Spartans will be very happy together one day. Some blame has to go Matt Millen's way, of course, because his inability to build a working team instead of a collection of talented pieces has been detrimental. But, the Lion's share of the blame has to fall upon these players, the guys who drop the passes, who throw the interceptions, who give up the sacks, who can't tackle in the open field, who fail to get first downs.
Everyone loves The Blame Game (almost as much as The Conjecture Game), and though everyone seems to be at fault for the calamitous disaster that is every, single Detroit Lions season, the players probably should bear more of the weight in this one. This morning, kick returner Eddie Drummond came on the Jamie & Brady show on WDFN and basically laid it out thusly: the vets worked with Mooch; the young guys didn't. He explained that the older players know how to work hard and practice hard without being driven by a disciplinarian and the younger players just don't have that ability. And that just saddens me.
I hear about Mike Williams falling asleep in meetings, Roy Williams not wanting to play through pain, Charles Rogers gettin' high, and it just makes me wanna holler. Why do these guys need extra motivation? Does Bill Parcells (or Charlie Weiss) really have to come into the locker room, guns a-blazin', to convince you not to drop a pass for a first down? To block a rusher?? To wrap up a guy trying to run past you??? Gimme a break. Guys like that don't need a teacher; they need a babysitter. And a new address.
So, Steve, good luck elsewhere. I hope that the next place you go has enough Dre Blys and Eddie Drummonds to overcome all of the dope-smokin', self-injuring, sleepy, late, lazy, undermotivated knuckleheads. But, er, um ... you might want to throw downfield sometime, chief.
Main Entry: mooch
Pronunciation: 'müch
Function: verb
Etymology: probably from French dialect muchier to hide, lurk
Intransitive senses
1 : to wander aimlessly : AMBLE; also : SNEAK - as in "With Mooch as the coach, the Lions wandered aimlessly, ambling about, only sneaking in a victory every now and then."
2 : SPONGE, CADGE - as in, "It seems like Mooch was just sponging off of the the Fords, taking their money and not giving us much in return. What a cadger!" (Which means huckster, for you rubes.)
Transitive senses
1 : to take surreptitiously : STEAL - as in, "Yep, for the production we got, Mooch was just stealing that cash!"
2 : BEG, CADGE - as in, "Fo' sho; Mooch was beggin' us to believe his system would work for years and what do we get? ... He cadged the mess out of us!"
But, we can't put it all on Mariucci the Moocher. He isn't a bad coach, and I'm sure he and the Michigan State Spartans will be very happy together one day. Some blame has to go Matt Millen's way, of course, because his inability to build a working team instead of a collection of talented pieces has been detrimental. But, the Lion's share of the blame has to fall upon these players, the guys who drop the passes, who throw the interceptions, who give up the sacks, who can't tackle in the open field, who fail to get first downs.
Everyone loves The Blame Game (almost as much as The Conjecture Game), and though everyone seems to be at fault for the calamitous disaster that is every, single Detroit Lions season, the players probably should bear more of the weight in this one. This morning, kick returner Eddie Drummond came on the Jamie & Brady show on WDFN and basically laid it out thusly: the vets worked with Mooch; the young guys didn't. He explained that the older players know how to work hard and practice hard without being driven by a disciplinarian and the younger players just don't have that ability. And that just saddens me.
I hear about Mike Williams falling asleep in meetings, Roy Williams not wanting to play through pain, Charles Rogers gettin' high, and it just makes me wanna holler. Why do these guys need extra motivation? Does Bill Parcells (or Charlie Weiss) really have to come into the locker room, guns a-blazin', to convince you not to drop a pass for a first down? To block a rusher?? To wrap up a guy trying to run past you??? Gimme a break. Guys like that don't need a teacher; they need a babysitter. And a new address.
So, Steve, good luck elsewhere. I hope that the next place you go has enough Dre Blys and Eddie Drummonds to overcome all of the dope-smokin', self-injuring, sleepy, late, lazy, undermotivated knuckleheads. But, er, um ... you might want to throw downfield sometime, chief.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Unabashed Plug
Good morning!
Ok, millions of you out there in blog land; I just got back from vacation ... and boy, are my arms tired ... yeeeeah. Right. Lame since the 70s, I know, I know. I'm just trying to break the ice so I can direct you to my fantasy sports site: www.fantasychampionnetwork.com. The time has come for a revolution, where the sprots enthused can play fantasy sports that focus on the stuff fantasy sports players/fanatics (like myself) really care about: fun and money.
Sign up and have a ball: www.fantasychampionnetwork.com/openleagues
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Ballers all
Good morning!
And thanks for the admonishment, AER. It was well deserved. No excuses. So, here I am.
And here's an observation: parity has taken hold in the NBA. Clearly, the Pistons are the class of the league so far this season, but the number of good teams is staggering: the 76ers, the Cavs, the Pacers, the Bulls, the Heat, the Spurs, the Mavs, the Griz, the Nuggets, the T-Wolves, the Clips, and the Warriors will all make dangerous playoff teams. And the Nets, Celtics, Knicks, Bucks, Magic, Wizards, Bobcats, Hornets, and Suns will all improve as the season.
I can't remember the last time there were this many good squads out there. I mean ... the Clippers?? Somebody send a memo to the Raptors.
And thanks for the admonishment, AER. It was well deserved. No excuses. So, here I am.
And here's an observation: parity has taken hold in the NBA. Clearly, the Pistons are the class of the league so far this season, but the number of good teams is staggering: the 76ers, the Cavs, the Pacers, the Bulls, the Heat, the Spurs, the Mavs, the Griz, the Nuggets, the T-Wolves, the Clips, and the Warriors will all make dangerous playoff teams. And the Nets, Celtics, Knicks, Bucks, Magic, Wizards, Bobcats, Hornets, and Suns will all improve as the season.
I can't remember the last time there were this many good squads out there. I mean ... the Clippers?? Somebody send a memo to the Raptors.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Weakened State
Good morning!
First off, it took less than one week for me to break the "every morning" rule. What can I say, TNT (my girlfriend) was playing Sims. I'm going to need to find a guest blogger or two.
Anyway, what a weekend for Michigan sports, eh? Everyone saw the Lions debacle coming, but who thought the Pistons would end their streak with such ... definition?
In total, questions abound for all of our weakened warriors who tanked it this weekend:
Lions: How can the Lions stop this cycle of lameness? Changing coaches doesn't work, drafting great college players doesn't work, signing free agents doesn't work ... How do we effect positive change?
Michigan Football: If you know you're defense can't stop the team your playing from scoring, why put your hopes for winning in the hands of that defense? Isn't that just losing football? Hasn't it been all year??
Michigan State Football: Based on this year's dynamic collapse, do the Spartys ditch the John L. Experiment and go for Mooch if the Lions cut him loose?
Pistons: Could that brutal blowout at the hands of the Mavs be a good thing for this team? Will this maybe help them ssink back under the radar, or will everyone still be gunning for The Beasts of the East?
Red Wings: Who are they, really? The winning-streak Wings or the losing-streak Wings? Are they for real or a fraud?
Michigan State Basketball: Blown out by 20 by Hawaii? Come on.
Questions, questions everywhere, and not a drop to drink ...
First off, it took less than one week for me to break the "every morning" rule. What can I say, TNT (my girlfriend) was playing Sims. I'm going to need to find a guest blogger or two.
Anyway, what a weekend for Michigan sports, eh? Everyone saw the Lions debacle coming, but who thought the Pistons would end their streak with such ... definition?
In total, questions abound for all of our weakened warriors who tanked it this weekend:
Lions: How can the Lions stop this cycle of lameness? Changing coaches doesn't work, drafting great college players doesn't work, signing free agents doesn't work ... How do we effect positive change?
Michigan Football: If you know you're defense can't stop the team your playing from scoring, why put your hopes for winning in the hands of that defense? Isn't that just losing football? Hasn't it been all year??
Michigan State Football: Based on this year's dynamic collapse, do the Spartys ditch the John L. Experiment and go for Mooch if the Lions cut him loose?
Pistons: Could that brutal blowout at the hands of the Mavs be a good thing for this team? Will this maybe help them ssink back under the radar, or will everyone still be gunning for The Beasts of the East?
Red Wings: Who are they, really? The winning-streak Wings or the losing-streak Wings? Are they for real or a fraud?
Michigan State Basketball: Blown out by 20 by Hawaii? Come on.
Questions, questions everywhere, and not a drop to drink ...
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Best of the Best
Good morning!
This one's gonna be a quickie.
The Detroit Pistons are absolutely, positively, the best team in all of basketball this year. My evidence? A hard-fought, 78-70 victory over the Houston Rockets last night. The Pistons were on the road, in foul trouble, getting out rebounded, and playing against a Rockets team that was quite sawed off about getting beaten by the preseason best team in the NBA, the San Antonio Spurs.
But, The Hunger made a way. That's what I see in this year's championship-bound Detroit team: an undeniable Hunger that drives them even more than in the '03-'04 season. The league better look out ...
They're about to get eaten up.
This one's gonna be a quickie.
The Detroit Pistons are absolutely, positively, the best team in all of basketball this year. My evidence? A hard-fought, 78-70 victory over the Houston Rockets last night. The Pistons were on the road, in foul trouble, getting out rebounded, and playing against a Rockets team that was quite sawed off about getting beaten by the preseason best team in the NBA, the San Antonio Spurs.
But, The Hunger made a way. That's what I see in this year's championship-bound Detroit team: an undeniable Hunger that drives them even more than in the '03-'04 season. The league better look out ...
They're about to get eaten up.
Friday, November 18, 2005
The Conjecture Game
Good morning!
I love Chuckles. One of the reasons people get into Charles Barkley's opinions is he often thinks like a normal sports fan. Last night, he speculated that the Minnesota Timberwolves should deal Kevin Garnett to some squad that has at least a chance of making the playoffs and could supply Minne-haha with the players to start over. KG downplayed his comments, of course, but that quickly got me thinking about one of my favorite pasttimes:
THE CONJECTURE GAME!
The game where I play general manager to a couple teams and come up with the wacky deals that will boldly take sorry squads into the future! Alright, so what do we have here? Meet the Minnesota Timberwolves -- home of one great superstar, a bunch of less-than-functional pieces and Wally Szczerbiak:
PG
Marko Jaric
Troy Hudson
SG
Trenton Hassell
Rashad McCants
SF
Wally Szczerbiak
Nikoloz Tskitishvili
PF
Kevin Garnett
Eddie Griffin
C
Michael Olowokandi
Mark Madsen
Others
Anthony Carter
Ronald Dupree
Richie Frahm
Dwayne Jones
Bracey Wright
Now, we need a playoff team that needs a superstar to push them over the top and make them a contender and that has enough excess talent that they can afford to deal some heavy-duty material and still remain that way. Dallas maybe? Nah, the guys they could offer (Stackhouse, Dampier, etc.) are too old. Houston? Indiana? Not enough non-essential pieces to offer ... Waitaminnit! CHICAGO. Perfect. Garnett, the returning hero! The Bulls -- again a force to be reckoned with! And some of their guys could get a chance to really shine. Let's look at the roster:
PG
Kirk Hinrich
Chris Duhon
SG
Ben Gordon
Andres Nocioni
SF
Luol Deng
Tim Thomas
PF
Mike Sweetney
Othella Harrington
C
Tyson Chandler
Darius Songaila
Others
Eddie Basden
Jannero Pargo
Eric Piatkowski
Malik Allen
So, what do we need to do here? If you merely subtract The Big Ticket, the T-Wolves probably run with Griffin in the starting lineup. They could use some beefing up of the front court. Taking salaries into consideration, how about this:
- Kevin Garnett ($18,000,000)
- Mark Madsen ($2 million)
- Mike Olowakandi ($6)
- Troy Hudson ($5.2)
Total: $31.2
for
- Tyson Chandler (whose salary was undisclosed, but I assume is higher than the $4.5 million he made at the end of his last deal -- I'm assuming about $7 million.)
- Chris Duhon ($2.8)
- Luol Deng ($2.4)
- Mike Sweetney ($2.1)
- Tim Thomas ($14)
- Othella Harrington ($3.2)
- The Bulls' 2006 first-round draft pick
Total: $31.5
Looks like a do-er to me. The Wolves get younger, much more talented and and get rid of doghouse dwellers Madsen, Hudson and the Kandiman. The Bulls get a bona fide great player (and Player) in Garnett, Hudson's experience and they get rid of the contract of professional bust Tim "oh, he has so much potential" Thomas. Both teams would benefit immensely.
Man, this job is easy. Any other teams need help out there?
I love Chuckles. One of the reasons people get into Charles Barkley's opinions is he often thinks like a normal sports fan. Last night, he speculated that the Minnesota Timberwolves should deal Kevin Garnett to some squad that has at least a chance of making the playoffs and could supply Minne-haha with the players to start over. KG downplayed his comments, of course, but that quickly got me thinking about one of my favorite pasttimes:
THE CONJECTURE GAME!
The game where I play general manager to a couple teams and come up with the wacky deals that will boldly take sorry squads into the future! Alright, so what do we have here? Meet the Minnesota Timberwolves -- home of one great superstar, a bunch of less-than-functional pieces and Wally Szczerbiak:
PG
Marko Jaric
Troy Hudson
SG
Trenton Hassell
Rashad McCants
SF
Wally Szczerbiak
Nikoloz Tskitishvili
PF
Kevin Garnett
Eddie Griffin
C
Michael Olowokandi
Mark Madsen
Others
Anthony Carter
Ronald Dupree
Richie Frahm
Dwayne Jones
Bracey Wright
Now, we need a playoff team that needs a superstar to push them over the top and make them a contender and that has enough excess talent that they can afford to deal some heavy-duty material and still remain that way. Dallas maybe? Nah, the guys they could offer (Stackhouse, Dampier, etc.) are too old. Houston? Indiana? Not enough non-essential pieces to offer ... Waitaminnit! CHICAGO. Perfect. Garnett, the returning hero! The Bulls -- again a force to be reckoned with! And some of their guys could get a chance to really shine. Let's look at the roster:
PG
Kirk Hinrich
Chris Duhon
SG
Ben Gordon
Andres Nocioni
SF
Luol Deng
Tim Thomas
PF
Mike Sweetney
Othella Harrington
C
Tyson Chandler
Darius Songaila
Others
Eddie Basden
Jannero Pargo
Eric Piatkowski
Malik Allen
So, what do we need to do here? If you merely subtract The Big Ticket, the T-Wolves probably run with Griffin in the starting lineup. They could use some beefing up of the front court. Taking salaries into consideration, how about this:
- Kevin Garnett ($18,000,000)
- Mark Madsen ($2 million)
- Mike Olowakandi ($6)
- Troy Hudson ($5.2)
Total: $31.2
for
- Tyson Chandler (whose salary was undisclosed, but I assume is higher than the $4.5 million he made at the end of his last deal -- I'm assuming about $7 million.)
- Chris Duhon ($2.8)
- Luol Deng ($2.4)
- Mike Sweetney ($2.1)
- Tim Thomas ($14)
- Othella Harrington ($3.2)
- The Bulls' 2006 first-round draft pick
Total: $31.5
Looks like a do-er to me. The Wolves get younger, much more talented and and get rid of doghouse dwellers Madsen, Hudson and the Kandiman. The Bulls get a bona fide great player (and Player) in Garnett, Hudson's experience and they get rid of the contract of professional bust Tim "oh, he has so much potential" Thomas. Both teams would benefit immensely.
Man, this job is easy. Any other teams need help out there?
Thursday, November 17, 2005
The Play's the Thing
Good morning!
Call it A Tale of Three Cities: It was the worst of times (then, it got better for a second -- until last night); it was the ... mediocrest of times (now, it's better for a second); it was the best of times (and still is).
With Shaquille O'Neal injured and Ron Artest keeping his hands to himself, New York, Los Angeles and Detroit (respectively) are the trifold fulcrums upon which the NBA world is turning at this early point in the season. Last night, two of those pivot points met, as the Lakers' three-game losing streak and the Knicks' two-game winning streak both ended in a 97-92 victory by L.A. And as the spotlight shone on these two sub-playoff-level teams, the Pistons, again in the midst of a long layoff preceding another road trip, quietly waited in the wings.
Watching that game last night, I was struck by a couple of things. First, it was very competitive. Both of those teams are about the same level. Second, I thought, "Is Larry Brown mental? Why would any sane man leave a Detroit team that went to the Eastern Conference Finals three times in a row, went to the NBA Finals twice, and won an NBA Championship the year before last to coach this shoddy band of refugees and misfits??" The answer to that is obvious, of course; teachers teach. Sure, there are other things at work -- childhood dreams, where to raise the kids, the desires of his wife, the fact that Dumars and Davidson were pretty tired of Larry's act all around -- but, whether it's fueled by nobility or hubris, Coach Brown has taken it upon himself to travel from city to city and teach dysfunctional (or, in the case of the Pistons, highly functional) teams how to play basketball The Right Way. It's a dirty job, but no one else is doing it as well as he.
But what the heck is Phil doing here? His immediate team history and girlfriend's parentage aside, this is not a Phillip Jackson scenario. You have a young phenom whose team needs a little direction to get it to the promised land? Call Phil. You need a coach to manage the disparate personalities of a couple of all-time talents? Phil's your man. But, if you need somebody to take one superstar and a bunch of rejects (not to be unkind, but has any team really embraced any of the players on this Lakers squad besides Kobe? Lamar Odom, Kwame Brown, Smush Parker, Chris Mihm ... not exactly darlings of management at their previous stops -- rightly or wrongly), you don't call Phil. In that case, you lose Phil's number and call Larry Brown. Or Alvin Gentry, if you're not too pressed about it.
So, why is Phil here? Why is he allowing himself to become apoplectic because his guys don't know how to run the triangle? What would possess him to take over the reins, for the first time in his NBA head coaching career, of a team that has no chance of winning a title? Is it the love of basketball? Nah. Not by itself. The network commentators love the sport. Is it the money? Not really. Any network would have paid him a boatload of John Madden-level cash to be in their booth. Plus, the endorsements that would come from such a move could be staggering. (NBA Live 2006 would be even more interesting as Jackson 2007.) Could he still feel he has something to prove? Doubtful. He has nine Championship rings. So ...
It's the thing behind and beyond all of those things. It's the thing that really motivates Larry Brown, and probably most of the others who are successful.
It's The Play.
The Play is the thing. It's the grandiose, dramatic stage that is the platform for your performance as a Player in the NBA. Not just a guy who throws on a uniform and gets on the court, but The Players. Chris Mihm and Antonio Davis are players. Shaq is a Player. Kobe is a Player, LeBron is a Player. Isiah Thomas is a Player and he hired the absolute diva of all Players in Larry Brown. The Play is where the spotlight shines, and it doesn't fall on the orchestra. You've gotta be on stage to get that shine. To catch the roses from the balcony. To earn the applause.
Sure, it's ego driven. But what competitor isn't? Phil took a year off from the spotlight and then, like any great performer, coasted back out from the wings for his encore. Will this (Lake)show ever be as successful? Probably not. But both he and Larry will continue take center stage, getting all the attention, getting all the reviews. Good ones, bad ones, who cares? At least they're still Playing.
Meanwhile, much further off Broadway than Larry, the Pistons little production getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger ...
Call it A Tale of Three Cities: It was the worst of times (then, it got better for a second -- until last night); it was the ... mediocrest of times (now, it's better for a second); it was the best of times (and still is).
With Shaquille O'Neal injured and Ron Artest keeping his hands to himself, New York, Los Angeles and Detroit (respectively) are the trifold fulcrums upon which the NBA world is turning at this early point in the season. Last night, two of those pivot points met, as the Lakers' three-game losing streak and the Knicks' two-game winning streak both ended in a 97-92 victory by L.A. And as the spotlight shone on these two sub-playoff-level teams, the Pistons, again in the midst of a long layoff preceding another road trip, quietly waited in the wings.
Watching that game last night, I was struck by a couple of things. First, it was very competitive. Both of those teams are about the same level. Second, I thought, "Is Larry Brown mental? Why would any sane man leave a Detroit team that went to the Eastern Conference Finals three times in a row, went to the NBA Finals twice, and won an NBA Championship the year before last to coach this shoddy band of refugees and misfits??" The answer to that is obvious, of course; teachers teach. Sure, there are other things at work -- childhood dreams, where to raise the kids, the desires of his wife, the fact that Dumars and Davidson were pretty tired of Larry's act all around -- but, whether it's fueled by nobility or hubris, Coach Brown has taken it upon himself to travel from city to city and teach dysfunctional (or, in the case of the Pistons, highly functional) teams how to play basketball The Right Way. It's a dirty job, but no one else is doing it as well as he.
But what the heck is Phil doing here? His immediate team history and girlfriend's parentage aside, this is not a Phillip Jackson scenario. You have a young phenom whose team needs a little direction to get it to the promised land? Call Phil. You need a coach to manage the disparate personalities of a couple of all-time talents? Phil's your man. But, if you need somebody to take one superstar and a bunch of rejects (not to be unkind, but has any team really embraced any of the players on this Lakers squad besides Kobe? Lamar Odom, Kwame Brown, Smush Parker, Chris Mihm ... not exactly darlings of management at their previous stops -- rightly or wrongly), you don't call Phil. In that case, you lose Phil's number and call Larry Brown. Or Alvin Gentry, if you're not too pressed about it.
So, why is Phil here? Why is he allowing himself to become apoplectic because his guys don't know how to run the triangle? What would possess him to take over the reins, for the first time in his NBA head coaching career, of a team that has no chance of winning a title? Is it the love of basketball? Nah. Not by itself. The network commentators love the sport. Is it the money? Not really. Any network would have paid him a boatload of John Madden-level cash to be in their booth. Plus, the endorsements that would come from such a move could be staggering. (NBA Live 2006 would be even more interesting as Jackson 2007.) Could he still feel he has something to prove? Doubtful. He has nine Championship rings. So ...
It's the thing behind and beyond all of those things. It's the thing that really motivates Larry Brown, and probably most of the others who are successful.
It's The Play.
The Play is the thing. It's the grandiose, dramatic stage that is the platform for your performance as a Player in the NBA. Not just a guy who throws on a uniform and gets on the court, but The Players. Chris Mihm and Antonio Davis are players. Shaq is a Player. Kobe is a Player, LeBron is a Player. Isiah Thomas is a Player and he hired the absolute diva of all Players in Larry Brown. The Play is where the spotlight shines, and it doesn't fall on the orchestra. You've gotta be on stage to get that shine. To catch the roses from the balcony. To earn the applause.
Sure, it's ego driven. But what competitor isn't? Phil took a year off from the spotlight and then, like any great performer, coasted back out from the wings for his encore. Will this (Lake)show ever be as successful? Probably not. But both he and Larry will continue take center stage, getting all the attention, getting all the reviews. Good ones, bad ones, who cares? At least they're still Playing.
Meanwhile, much further off Broadway than Larry, the Pistons little production getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger ...
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Humble beginnings
... I wonder just how many blogs have started that way. Or that.
Hi. Ron here. I've begun this sojourn into blog space at the behest of a great friend of mine, heretofore known as AER because that's how he signed the e-mail inspiring me to do this --
Quizick Quiz #1:
A.) Are you bored yet?
B.) Have I used too many $10 words for 10-cent thoughts, so far?
C.) Are you seriously still reading this??
Ok, put down your pens and pass in your papers. Good, good; I like your answers. Except you, Sheldon! Report to the principal's office immediately! The rest of you: let's move on, shall we?
First, a bit about me
I'm still Ron.
I am an entrepreneur in, and from, Detroit, Michigan. I am on a continuing mission to build the most prolific microconglomerate (the type of company, not type of rock) in the world.
I am also a professional writer (feel free to write a pithy, self-deprecating "oxymoron" joke in my stead) and editor (no jokes; editors are important -- some of them drive Volvos!).
I am concurrently the most proud 30-year-old big brother of the greatest 14-year-old little sister on Earth. You may call her HCB. I have a feeling that initialisms will be a recurring theme.
Finally, I am, well, I'm a fan. I love film (passionately). I love good fiction in many forms (comic books, novels, television, and more, I'm sure). I dig music deeply (particularly quintessential tunes from the '80s -- if you don't know them already, stick around for awhile). And mostly, I am a sports fan. Just a little bit. In fact, that segues into my second piece of business.
Second, why I'm here
I'll let my good buddy AER explain this one:
Been thinking about the stuff you were teaching me yesterday about blogs, advertising, etc. I think you should start a sports blog, and give it whatever spin you wish. I'm guessing you've thought of this before, but keep reading ...
You can build your own set of clones. A fan club. Or as politicians say, "a base." Write about cool sports, awesome athletes, wacked out managers. Write about how so-and-so's salary is just ridiculous. But do it in your own unique way. Insert commentary about films, books, women, etc.
As you're building a loyal and very, very dedicated base, periodically do a plug for Fantasy Champion Network.
"But I don't have time," you'll say. Pshaw. You can write short entries the majority of the time if you wish (what's that ... 7 minutes?). It's not a waste of time because you're building a collection of quality sports literature. Make it easy for yourself; talk about your favorite teams and WHY they're your favorites. You're an expert at this stuff ... sports fans will benefit from you sharing your knowledge. And they're getting the blog stuff for free!!! At least initially ...
*mmmmmmmmmuuuuuuhahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!*
Here's the rub: you've got to feed the beast. Regularly. Make it one of those blogs where people get UPSET when you fail to post for a day.
well ... that's my idea. but if you already had that idea, then this is just proof that you should act on it.
AER
Leave it to the sage advice of a close friend to lead you to extremely public embarrassment and ruin. Well, we'll just see what happens shall we? Thus, I will strive to do three things with this blog:
1. Share my voice with many who may not otherwise have the opportunity to hear it on subjects that are meaningful to me, and perhaps, to you as well.
2. Help build the aforementioned soon-to-be prolific and ostensibly global microconglomerate into the worldwide force for good for my family and the world that I intend it to be.
3. Write in this thing every single morning. Without fail. Forever. Even if I cannot, I will strive for it to be updated daily, every morning, somehow by someone. The name was just something I assumed was clever that has not, in fact, been used previously.
Here's to seeing what happens. We get started tomorrow. Hope you'll come along, have some coffee, share a bagel, and toast the day.
See you people in the morning,
Ron
Hi. Ron here. I've begun this sojourn into blog space at the behest of a great friend of mine, heretofore known as AER because that's how he signed the e-mail inspiring me to do this --
Quizick Quiz #1:
A.) Are you bored yet?
B.) Have I used too many $10 words for 10-cent thoughts, so far?
C.) Are you seriously still reading this??
Ok, put down your pens and pass in your papers. Good, good; I like your answers. Except you, Sheldon! Report to the principal's office immediately! The rest of you: let's move on, shall we?
First, a bit about me
I'm still Ron.
I am an entrepreneur in, and from, Detroit, Michigan. I am on a continuing mission to build the most prolific microconglomerate (the type of company, not type of rock) in the world.
I am also a professional writer (feel free to write a pithy, self-deprecating "oxymoron" joke in my stead) and editor (no jokes; editors are important -- some of them drive Volvos!).
I am concurrently the most proud 30-year-old big brother of the greatest 14-year-old little sister on Earth. You may call her HCB. I have a feeling that initialisms will be a recurring theme.
Finally, I am, well, I'm a fan. I love film (passionately). I love good fiction in many forms (comic books, novels, television, and more, I'm sure). I dig music deeply (particularly quintessential tunes from the '80s -- if you don't know them already, stick around for awhile). And mostly, I am a sports fan. Just a little bit. In fact, that segues into my second piece of business.
Second, why I'm here
I'll let my good buddy AER explain this one:
Been thinking about the stuff you were teaching me yesterday about blogs, advertising, etc. I think you should start a sports blog, and give it whatever spin you wish. I'm guessing you've thought of this before, but keep reading ...
You can build your own set of clones. A fan club. Or as politicians say, "a base." Write about cool sports, awesome athletes, wacked out managers. Write about how so-and-so's salary is just ridiculous. But do it in your own unique way. Insert commentary about films, books, women, etc.
As you're building a loyal and very, very dedicated base, periodically do a plug for Fantasy Champion Network.
"But I don't have time," you'll say. Pshaw. You can write short entries the majority of the time if you wish (what's that ... 7 minutes?). It's not a waste of time because you're building a collection of quality sports literature. Make it easy for yourself; talk about your favorite teams and WHY they're your favorites. You're an expert at this stuff ... sports fans will benefit from you sharing your knowledge. And they're getting the blog stuff for free!!! At least initially ...
*mmmmmmmmmuuuuuuhahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!*
Here's the rub: you've got to feed the beast. Regularly. Make it one of those blogs where people get UPSET when you fail to post for a day.
well ... that's my idea. but if you already had that idea, then this is just proof that you should act on it.
AER
Leave it to the sage advice of a close friend to lead you to extremely public embarrassment and ruin. Well, we'll just see what happens shall we? Thus, I will strive to do three things with this blog:
1. Share my voice with many who may not otherwise have the opportunity to hear it on subjects that are meaningful to me, and perhaps, to you as well.
2. Help build the aforementioned soon-to-be prolific and ostensibly global microconglomerate into the worldwide force for good for my family and the world that I intend it to be.
3. Write in this thing every single morning. Without fail. Forever. Even if I cannot, I will strive for it to be updated daily, every morning, somehow by someone. The name was just something I assumed was clever that has not, in fact, been used previously.
Here's to seeing what happens. We get started tomorrow. Hope you'll come along, have some coffee, share a bagel, and toast the day.
See you people in the morning,
Ron
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